My mind is teeming with multiple thoughts now.
Part of me wants to detach myself from everything and focus on my study.
Other parts is engaging activities like wandering in the land of imagination, desire to have a good laugh by watching funny videos and worst of all, to think that next week is just any ordinary week.
Well, return to reality and the pressing truth is the final exam for the entire SAM starts next Monday.
Today is a Thursday. Now its nightime.
Tomorrow is a Friday, so three more days to go.
And what I am doing right now is browsing whats on the home page of Facebook, punching on the keyboard to complain for my boredom and uttering a silent cry a despair on the prospect of feeling doomed in the exam hall.
I'm aint prepared but stress is preparing to kill me before I even step into the accursed freezing hall, draped in the frost of morning dew.
There am I on an exam morning, struggling to break free from the chains of weariness that locks me in the lying position on the bed.
And there am I sweating off my butt, almost frenzy from the torturing elusive logic that the question presents.
And there am I, looking down from the fourth story without any feeling of vertigo, instead a desire to pull a step forward. (Ok, this one is exaggerated. )
But its like looking into the void of nothingness.
The immeasurable depth and darkness beyond strip you of hopes.

But when I picture what awaits for me in the future.
Of halls, audiences, ovations and the proud look in my parents eyes and the shimmering gold plated prize and the booming of my thank you speech from the gigantic speakers that flank the award hall.
To see this, and comes a boost a motivation and determination and greatness within.
I see life as hope then.
I see God's holding out his shining palm for assistance.
Waiting to give me a pull and thug me out of the endless void.
And to offer me an opportunity to smile again.

Gambateh to myself.

Today is my last day of college *Sob sob*

Never expect it to end so quick.

But to think again, the past 10 months happens in a blink.

Today is also a day where we strengthen friendship ties thru Cam Whoring.

I seldom participate in this but today I couldn't help but join in the fun.

My classmates take many poser photos but also quite some random and candid ones.

Basically the lectures are just having fun.

People pass around the yearbook for signatures.

I should have brought mine too.

I'm sad that it is nearly the end but this is an opportunity to rejoice for a new stage of life.

Ascension to university life.

I think I will more likely stay local cos unless I got full scholarships, I can't afford to go Australia.

And getting full is hoping for the 'almost impossible'.

My Chemistry lecturer related her experiences in Melbourne to us today.

It sounds like sooo fun and soooo killjoy after listening.

The exciting part is you get to see more 'mat salleh' and can learn 'pro english' accent, experience other culture and food and those sort of things.

The bad part include restrictions such as cannot call in after 9pm, shop closes at 5pm, no photocopy books, also expensive food, clothes books and travel tickets.

It's also difficult to mesh in Australian people cos as my lecturer puts it, they see Asian as inferior. All of us have the same face. So you most probably end up befriending Cambodian, Malaysians and other Asians.....

Horning on the road is considered very rude too...

And summer is freaking hot.

I do wish to taste the Australian air but maybe later during my Masters or PhD (maybe).

Next week is a holiday.

Nope, not a week of college leave.

A study leave instead.

Finals is only next next week.

If you play, guiltiness creep over immediately.

But you cannot study continuously either.

So I have no idea how to plan the week.

Perhaps barring my itchy fingers from the laptop by leaving it at home is a good idea.

I might be cursing the absence of my pc, but its for my own good after all.

*Method of self- discipline*

Gonna do really good this time.

Or else...

No. don't even think of it...

Ha!
I'm back.
Facebook has cause me delays in my posts.

You know what?

Life is full of surprises.

Since I was 'coerced' into Facebook, I started playing games that I would never thought I would lay my fingers on.

Like playing Mafia Wars and Friends for Sale.

And while I was gaining momentum to study, Brisingr suddenly put up some show that lured me into the pages for hours.

In a blink, I was reaching the end of the book.

*wow*

And then i spent the entire weekend reading the book, ignoring Chemistry and Maths.

A sudden enthusiasm can drive someone really obsessed, not to mention love.

Now left two weeks before the finals.

*Crazy chuckle*

TWO WEEKS!

And i wasn't even prepared yet.

Haven't garnered the knowledge I should possess before the exam.

Discipline, I found out, is actually sth wild.

Few people can really tame it.

Name them, they might be study freaks or principle-bound lifeless forms.

Not to insult, humans are uncontrollable at times.

I do not blame myself, but I feel like running towards a solid wall and bang my wits out of it for slacking.

No, i wouldn't want that though.

I still need'em two weeks later.

Seems like I already berserk indeed.

Enough babbling for now.

Facebook first.

Yesterday I attended a charity performance at my college.

It was a violin performance and it deserved praise fro all their concerted efforts in practicing.

The programme consist of ensemble of violins with the accompaniment of pianoforte.

Themes included were the Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry potter, Phantom of the Opera and Canon in D.

The one from Cinema Paradiso was mesmering from the soft and romantic tunes, though I had no idea what movie was it.

Overall it was great but there was some discordant at the opening part of Canon, which disturbs me a bit but after the senor violinist chimed in, it was better.

The ending theme was from Titanic, which was awesome as it comes in surprise (not written on the programme list).

Joseph, my classmate performed well too.

I thought I saw him squirm when we shouted at him for an encore.

Haha.

And for today, I think I should amend for Brian coz he saw what I commented about hin on my blog today.

Ok, it was true but there are more of him.

He is not entirely that kind of perverted guy whose head only fills with lust.

He is just humoring people when he does that ( and his logic are sometimes very amusing).

Actually, he is a sort of enigma to me as our thoughts are a league apart from each other.

Haha.

Don't interpret it as 'weird'.

It is totally different.

Been spending more on practices for finals.

Busy days...