Too free

Utterly squandering time.
Well, isn't that a holiday norm?
Hanging out with friends, going online and so on...
But what I enjoyed most is watching One Piece anime.
Its really, I mean REALLY an interesting anime.
(For those who want to watch online, please visit watch-onepiece.com)
Oops...I forgot to claim some fee for advertising...
Haha...never mind...
The day before I visited Carrefour shopping mall.
I came across a huge pile of books for sale.
To my excitement, each story book is sold RM5!!!
Oh s**t! (Biting fingernails)
They are not really old books, but excess books that the management wants to clear 'em up.
(Biting fingernails...)
I took a long time to choose but only came up with two interesting books, Unlondon and The Cloud.
Why? Because my mom doesn't like me to read books during holiday, saying I will be too stressed out.
Man, isn't she a good mom. How many maternal advice will go "Can't you just stop reading and get some rest?" Haha
She even urge me not to put pressure on myself during exam.
"As long you grades are OK then you're fine"
What the..
I really mind my grades, mind you!
I once told her I would give in anything for my dream and she was kinda worried that I might go crazy.
As the Chinese child song goes "shi shang zhi you ma ma hao", loosely translated :mothers are the best in the world...
Sometimes though we had grown up and can make decisions of our own, we cant' ignore them.
After all, we will do the same when we reach that stage.
And my piano examination is round the corner and it is going to drive me crazy if I don't get serious.
Sometimes my mood just slip away. (Not to mention the addctive effects from watching anime...Now you can see how good it is)
The trial is on this Thursday and you can see my casket is ready in case I failed.
In order to cultivate a skill, sacrifices are unavoidable.
So think twice befor you want to take up extra lessons or you want to lead a peaceful life.
Haha. Sounds like some kind of philosophy.
Frankly, I think philosophy is quite boring.
You go debating about life through reasoning ,say, does GOD exist, without any possible proof and end up with a sating answer that YOU think is true.
Kinda futile, I think.
Those who went to Genting would wonder, why did'nt I mention it here.
Because, I hope not to recall the regret that I miss the outdoor games.
Arrgh...Getting frustrated...
Coz Ben said "You miss the Solero Shot? Oh, you just missed the best thing in your life"
Thank me I didn't curse anyone. (I'm not so evil, OK)
But then I too enjoyed though at the price of paying extra for the "Flying Coaster" that makes my head goes flying also (meaning I saw stars flying)
And then I mus tmention the jacuzzi at the hotel.
I could say it is pretty relaxing and comforting for your mind and soul. Haha
Lie there in the warm bath with massaging sprays give you a ticket away from the world temporarily.
But then yout skin goes wrinkle as water is absorbed and you would't love to lie there too long.
So thats it.
No more mentioning.

A dream

Yesterday night I stare into the mirror
and saw a grown up, though young,
Bespoke weariness.
Not the weariness from chores
Nor from the steepness of a teen's path
Or the conflict in social circles.
But its from a dream
A dream that none of my kind ever achieved but have dreamt of.
Its a problematic one.
Not necessarily it demands mettle or hardwork
Nor determination or devotion
But pure genius and luck
Plus a little illumination
Guided by saints
Or even better
By the devil
To harness my inner prowess
As devilish as possible
For an astounding result
Many in the world have tried
Some suceeded
With ingenuity tinged with beauty.
To get hold on my dream
I must surpass billions
Defeat millions of genius
And subjugate the impossiblities posed in nature
To uncover the truth
So that I can raise civilisation of mankind to a higher platform
A achievement stunning like never.
But I am ordinary.
by ordinary means
How am I to excel tremendously
Me myself
Held by nets
The relenting nets
And the mountain of duties that pressure me
And the limitations of my neurons
pave impediments in my path
To shatter every blocks
Is so exhausting
Does a shortcut exist for me?
If it does
It is unfair to the others
So i reasoned
GOD is always fair
There will not be impartiality
Then I conclude that there is none.
But I yearn for one
For everything is too much for me to take
I know its a lifelong dream
But give me an exception
My Lord!
Spare me from misery
For my accomplishment will benefit others
Like no other...

The depth of my heart

I walked alone
Along the deserted beach
At sunset
Feeling separated from the outside world.

I met some people
Who were also watching sunset
But take no heed of me
As if I were merely a passing wind.

I tr to blow like the wind
So they would notice my presence
They just say " It's windy"
And continue watching the horizon.

And then I spoke to one of them
They replied me curtly
And thats the end of a conversation
I'm alone again.

I tried to 'blow' harder
Hope they will appreciate me
And acknowledge my presence
In the end
I'm just making a fool out of myself.

I walked away from them
And sat aside
Looking at their gestures
Happy and bonded
But I am merely a spectator
Of no importance other than to watch.

I long to share
My thoughts about sunset
With them

But they don't understand me
Nor they comprehend my passion
And my thoughts
And my feelings.

I am isolation
Like a small island which broke apart from a earthquake
Even the island approach the mainland
It will no longer be a part of it.

Eventually they left
I am seated alone on the cool beach
Watching sunset myself
Am I to leave with them
By abandoning the beautiful night
In order to be a part of them?
Must I not be myself
In order to get company?
Must I make sacrifice to have friends?

No, my heart replies
Be yourself
Someone like you will come in your life
Someone who appreciates the beauty of the night
Someone who loves the warmth of the beach
Not just the sunset.

But I will be lonely
For how much longer must i wait
Wait, my pal
Wait.

Endure and you will acjieve what you intend to achieve
Do not relent with the others
Suffer to sacrifice
And soar high above the clouds.

I believe in you
My dear heart
Guide me in my journey
So that I can let others
Realise how beautiful the night is
Even though my passion is different
From what others thought

I will face the reality
And bold through difficulties
But you must lend a helping hand
For I will fall if you don't...

Hang on
And stay firm
I will always be there for you...
Your dear heart.

Jujitsu

Today i was pondering over whether to attend the Jujitsu class because the exam is approaching and i desperately need more time to cover everything.
But then i speculate that i would obtain my new uniform today. (its quite cool)
Later when i arrived, only then i realize that i need to wait till next week ( which i certainly cannot attend, why ? SEM exam lar! )
And so today's class starts with Darren, a middle age guy (or at least approaching) was taking his blue belt exam, followed by another girl taking her green belt test.
I manage to find out how any exam really look like, and its a little formal (Actually it has to be very formal but seems that we all know each other, the atmosphere automatically loosen up.
We did some punching and the climax of the session started, which is the sparring session.
I was chosen to grapple with Shane, a green belt guy.
He was quite strong though.
I almost tap out a few time when he attempts a headlock and hard he squeeze until i nearly suffocate.
But...
I did not relent easily.
He was trying various techniques to subjugate me but i just defended and ply around because i had no idea what to do or how to counterattack.
In the end its a draw.
Unfortunately, today i was wearing flexible shorts and so when i was grappling, i got my (sexy) thigh exposed.
The Sensei warned me not to wear it next time as it is unpleasant.
Darn. How embarrassing.
However, i spent a good time there.
Participating in the art self-defense is an enjoyable sport as you get to relieve stress and get to learn new stuff beside strengthening your body (of course, you must pay the fees).
I'm still a white belt beginner.
Hope to get a least a green belt before leaving SAM.
Back to home.
What else can I do?
You bet. Study lar...

School as normal.
Just like yesterday, today's double break period swift through like a gust of wind.
Phew...two hour gone like nothing occurred in that time interval.
Today, there was this international student ID application thing that I registered, but careless enough to forget to retrieve it.
And I only realised after my afternoon nap.
Damn. Sien.
Today my class witnessed another outraged teacher.
Mr. David Wang, our maths lecturer, was infuriated by the noise my class was making.
He shouted and slammed the board with his palm.
And the class turn dead silent.
It seems that he's been concealing his anger for quite some time, and today it leaked out.
I think its a bit pathetic.
He was scolding us and hitting the board hard and suddenly he admits he is overreacting.
We was stunned, partially because of his fury, partially because of his sudden change of mood.
Weird, huh?
Anyway, its gave us some shock and we will be more cautions next time.
We didn't actually mean it, Mr. David.
Tonight I decided to study solo.
Coz there aren't many people participating in the group study.
Darn it. Why today seems to be so sien...
6 days to go before sem exam.
Scary.
*Gulp*

Today I was able to woke up 10 mins earlier (which requires a lot of effort and determination) to avoid being late to college. I felt quite awake after a moment though a juz get about 6 hr of rest.
Hey, I'm not like one of those night people who can perform optimally although they get less than 5 hr shut-eye.
But, I think, even I wake up early, time is still squandered by slow-brushing, slow-dressing and slow-eating. So its still the same. I was late again.
Nevertheless, I begin to get used to the slight embarrassment for arriving late and the immunity subjects me to for late days (which I am seeking a way out of this).
Class as usual.
Then the 2 hr break.
I grabbed the opportunity to study at the library.
And I realized something that everyone would agree.I would name it as below.
U-wen law of time motion: The time experienced by students outside class will seem to be shorter than the time experienced inside class, independent on you are studying or not. This is called the spatial time dilation which acts on all students in the same universe. (sorry, no equation. Haha)
Its right.
Listening to lectures always involves multiple information processing and time seems to delay.
And after class, a little thing you do seem to take the remaining day all along with it, especially if you are studying.
Eh-hem.
Sorry, I forget this is not a physics class. The narration continues as follows.
During one of the transition period between classes, every exhaustion in the class shows up.
More than half of the class succumbed to fatigue.
Yit Guan looks very shy...
Gui Fen sure looks tired...

What are they gonna do in the dark?
I really hope they got tired from studying, not DotAing or doing something else. Who knows?
Also, I noticed today that Ms Lee Fui Fui (our spec math lecturer)is really upset about our attitude (not me, okay) towards learning. Voices seems to emerge from every corner and attention was poor, irritating the teacher.
I was particularly concerned when she finally admits she is unhappy teaching my class.
Hey, pals, can't you just shut up and pay some attention, coz teachers have feelings too.
Guess Zhe Kai needs to do something about it. (Why? Coz we push everything to the class rep :P).
Evening.
Slept and 'gymmed'.
Then study at TBS library.
That is when my law applies.
That stupid essay ok its not stupid, i juz dislike it) cost me an hour plus.
That just erased my allocated time for spec maths. (I feel that spec math is the hardest subject).
Darn it.
Then there is sooo little time left for physic.
I personally think that group study sometimes hinders concentration and productivity.
Ok, maybe just sometimes.
Coz you will listen to whatever topics they are talking bout and its UNavoidable.
Man, do I really need to opt for self-study, just like in the past?
Its lonely, you know.
7 more days to SEM exam.
Frustrating.
Again.
College life.
Wish me good luck .xD

A Sunday

Today is juz like any Sunday. Except today's a Mother's Day.
I present my mom a nice tumbler for a gift so she will think about me when she's using it.
Quite practical, right?
Well, like every Sunday, I attended my piano lessons with some confidence of meeting the teacher's demands.
You know, things doesn't always go right as Murphy Law applies (Yee 2009). (Anti-plagiarism)
Your fine day must be ruined by something unexpected.
In accordance to the upcoming exam somewhere in June or July, teacher is planning to give me some music oral practice (which mean I must sing).
Darn, my confidence kinda undermined because I'm haven't prepared anything and she just want to execute it straight away.
What luck!
She brief me on the details and so we start.
The first one is singing the bass after she plays a short piece of melody.
I could n't grasp the bass part so I messed up.
I sang gibberish.
The second one follows a sight-singing.
As it describes, sing while looking at the notes.
Teacher will play the right hand part.
Same.
I just couldn't do it.
I failed my oral singing for my grade six but manage to pass as I can play the scales and pieces.
Now, its Grade 8.
I cannot afford to fail and retake.
But teacher foresee that and continues with the other section.
But earlier she still seek some chance to chide me.
Anyway, she claimed that oral is just a matter of talent.
A month preparation is adequate because your skill is predetermined.
I don't think so.
But time is running out. it seems that I am ill-fated to loss those marks.
Also, my first Scarlatti piece sucks.
Second piece drops a bit.
Third romantic piece is just fine.
My scales also goes haywire.
Today is not my piano day. I just can't get into tune.
But later I regained my strength back home. I played like normal. It seems like the pressure from teacher is more pronounced each day as the exam day approach.
God, I need more time coz my semester exam is around the corner.
Please help me to squeeze out some time. xD
Gosh, I seriously need a time machine so that I can have as much time as I want.
Talk about evenings.
I stayed at home to do some homework.
Dined with my uncle and grandparents.
Then drove back to the small hostel room.
Earlier, my scouter friend called me for tea.
Man, I miss them.
But I must return to Subang for the sake of SAM.
College life.
The only thing that changes is you get to bring along ur mobile phone and having an hour break.
Part of life.
Sigh.

Today was like any other Friday Friday. People usually won't be so attentive on Fridays. They're just waiting for liberty to play during the weekends. Same as me. :P
An example is this:
Shak is playing Bobby's lighter during Physics. A clear reflection of how good the lesson goes.
Me myself also started dozing of because all of what is being taught today are merely facts.
Oh yeah.
Recalling yesterday's scenario.
This conspiracy clearly piss off CK. Ben only smiled. (He look pleased,though.)
And the perfect match that Victor will possibly be grateful. Haha.

There was another incidence worth recounting during break time. (Sorry, my phone 's camera is just 2 megapixel.)
Zhe Kai and Jitve participated in the talent roadshow , whereby you can reveal your talent by performing anything you are good at. They sang a duo and got a Kayne West album for FREE. And some KFC voucher which I got too for being a "supportive audience".
(They're singing passionately...No idea what song it is...)

I did not finish my chemistry (Sasta ) homework. Luckily teacher proceededwith the syllabus. The last period is quite interesting as once again Pn. Mahani makes a fool out of herself in order to explian the chromatography thingy. Thank GOD we do really have a creative chem teacher that teaches interestingly or else the lectures goes only to the wall.

One more thing during class. I manage to snap this fantastic image. (Gui Fen, I'm only narrating whats happening.) XD


After school my friend went to Sunway Pyramid. I cannot afford to follow them or else I will be trapped in the long jam when I drive home.

I discovered some interesting facts today. Einstein did not acess any laboratory equipments nor scientific journals during his discovery of the theory of relativity. It comes from pure imagination. Cool isn't it. And he is a Jewish, and was very religious, if you did'nt know.

Ok.
I know my blog needs improvising. Anyway, its still a fresh blog.
I just feel like blurting out the remains of the day.
I appointed with Tze Hong, Bobby, Shak and Harin to study at TBS library.
Ok. We did study. We did. Even there was some distraction.
Actually, I plan to study spec maths and maths during that 2 hr.
But the thing is, there were too many entertainments.
Firstly, I listened to topics that you expect to hear when you sit with the them.
(U know, those boy stuff.)
At the same time, Yit Guan and Kai Ping is busy decorating the manila card for Mentor's Day.
The HILARIOUS thing is, they are pairing the photos of Victor and Gui Fen (Perfect match) and the RIDICULOUS one is, they paired up the so-called Gay Ben and CK.
Haha.
Damn funny.
Tomorrow would be a day of surprises for them and I bet CK will be pissed off.
Besides, Bobby and Harin get to taste Kai Ping's 'twitty torture' (A form of agonizing massage on the shoulder).
Haha.
I was having fun but I was not studying.
Later they went to play pool but I opt to crash after registering the remaining happenings.

Yesterday I talked with my gf. She finally agree that I should continue with my new blog.
(Don't bother on what happened earlier...)
Today class is as usual. The classes are noisy, boisterous, exhilarating and yet still able to fit in some seriousness for learning.
Today I met someone new during gym session. Apparently, he's a guy from Taylor's mechanical engineering first year and he brief me about his course so that I can include his experience in molding my future. (He an ex-SAMmer.)
The impressive thing is, he got 96% for his TER!
Man, he must be a nerd! Or maybe not, because he claims that "as long as your work is consistent, it is in your grasp".
Thus, I am motivated to work hard but I have no idea how long this passion will stay heated before I return to my old way of living. Haha

I experimented on how to start a blog. Just an attempt to learn something new. (Wow, its that easy)